It is not selfish to take care of your needs first. We all want to be liked, some even crave it! It’s pre-set into our DNA and throughout our lives the message is drummed into us loud and clear: put other people first, don’t blow your own horn, and above all, never be selfish.
Cut the crap – using the word ‘me’ is not a dirty thing and let’s not confuse self-care with selfishness. The fact of the matter is that you are no use to anybody else if you don’t take care of your own needs (not wants) first.
If you’re like me and have spent your whole life saying yes when you want to say no, never asking for what you want, or constantly avoiding conflict… it’s time for change… instead of saying nothing or flying into a complete rage (like I do when I’m frustrated) when something doesn’t sit right with you, instead learn to be assertive using the message “I respect you and I respect myself too.” Don’t get all narcissistic or become self-indulgent, instead try and think how you and the other party can both win in any given situation.
A happy life is all about creating a healthy balance of giving and receiving… it’s not all take, take, take or give, give, give! Creating that balance will have you believing you deserve to be as happy as everyone around you.
Love thyself wholeheartedly so you can be of use to the universe.
Peace, love and joy
Many don’t ever reach their full potential because of fear; fear of losing, fear of missing, fear of being ridiculed, fear of their past, fear of regret, and fear of embarrassment… I can go on but you get the gist. I was one of those people… so much talent, so many skills, so much ability and abundance of grace bestowed upon me by my heavenly father but yet I was fearful and stay in the background because I didn’t want to be spoken about, I didn’t want my words to be used against me, nor my actions to be misjudged…what people don’t actually know about me is that I’m quite a shy person (don’t laugh, I’m serious) but when God wants me to do something, he gives me the spirit of confidence from out of nowhere to make it possible. Soon after, fear sets in and I end up yet again doing things in the dark (background) hoping that one day my work will speak for itself. But you know what happened over the past couple of years… I’ve had to push fear aside (it’s a progress trust mee) and I started taking full responsibility for my life and embracing who and what I am. I’ve also become so busy doing (sooo much!), I no longer have time to criticize myself (my abilities) or even others and worry about what other people think of me.
Now, what I am most proud of from letting go is being seriously unapologetic about my feelings, my persona and my being, which allows me to be freely myself.
Sorry – yet again, another long post but I can’t just tell you something without giving an insight into my very own challenge. By the way, this may not be new to you and you probably already know this schpil but it very important you start acting on what you know because I tell you something… letting fear take hold of you allows all other unfortunate emotions to take place, like envy, bitterness, lack of self-worth and many more. Fear imprisons, it paralyzes, disheartens, sickens and makes you useless (yes! useless). Why not welcome hope/faith, which liberates you, empowers you, encourages you, heals you and makes you serviceable to be purposeful and reach your ultimate potential.
CONTINUE READING IN COMMENT SECTION...#fearless#dailyreflection#selfreflection#leadership#conqueryourfear
So this lady pa pa had her children on my birthday, somehow I was praying it was a a day or two before or after (yes, I have to make it about me- I cherish the 14th). I should have known their obsession for the number 4 would mean this will happen. Anyways, congrats sha...it just means greatness and double portion of favored people are born on this day and I gladly accept it. @Regrann from @afwlondon - First photo shoot! Beyoncé and the twins @beyonce #TheCarters#BeyonceTwins#CarterTwins#SirandRumi - #regrann#14ofJune#greatness#favoured
Kindly join me to celebrate my sister @royaldiadem007 one and only Mrs Akinlekan Adetomi Okiji, also known as my priceless iyawo aka wife. She clocks plus one today and it’s my prayers that God will continue to crown her years with goodness and his fullness will drop greatness endlessly. Happy birthday beautiful. I love you being my wonderful wife, we are blessed to have you in our family and our lives. #sisterinlaw#sisters#iyawo#wife#loveher#familygoals
Ironically, growing up, I wanted a man like my father, whom I thought then, was a good man because he cared for his children. But as I got older, I realised that having a good man in your life can be truly hard to come by; if not a fantasy.
Soon enough I started praying for a man that just understood my complexity and not just as a woman but as a very ambitious lady whose dreams are bigger than her imaginations. I didn’t want a doormat, I wanted someone to challenge my ideals and turn my thoughts and brains inside out and I got it! And I was happy! Well that was until I realised that everything I asked God for in a man wasn’t really the essence of keeping a relationship – it runs deeper than that. I’ve seen it time and time again where women (men) lists all the credentials they want in a partner, thinking it will keep them in forever happiness and joy (what a very distorted way of thinking – guess society truly does mess with the human brain). Often we list things like…he/she must come from a good home (what does that even mean?)…he/she must be financial sound to take care of the home (important but what about you?), he/she must be attractive enough for us to have chemistry (my dear, being fine doesn’t last forever plus chemistry is not a constant thing – if there were fireworks everywhere, this world will be truly beyond hedonism)… oh…he/she must be romantic (Abeg!!! wetting do you?). We create this list thinking that’s what we want when all we truly need as the scripture noted time and time again (amongst many other holy books and faith driven philosophy) was genuine love for each other. Let me explain, when you genuinely have love for each other (even on a platonic level) it will be very hard for you to hurt each other. And when you are like this – it makes you a good person. Let me digress a little… if you watch those old movies (nolly, holly, bolly wood), when you hear the words, “s/he is a good man/girl”… that’s all you need to know because surely if he/she is good, they will treat your right. For me, it’s very true (you can choose to disagree) ...CONTINUE READING IN THE COMMENTS...#birthday#goodman#babiesdaddy#MrK#kingofhiscastle
Long post alert, but please read...it might just be what you need to read.
Today is 7/7/17...what a blessed day - welcome to the month of #perfection. The number 7 is a very spiritual and devine number across the scriptures. Not only that, it resonates with study and learning, spiritual awakening and development with devine and inner-wisdom, along with emotions and feelings of great persistence of purpose and determination, and manifesting good. The Number one 1 (from the year) relates to new beginnings, creation, progress, inspiration and intuition, self-leadership and assertiveness, motivation and progress, striving forward, uniqueness and individuality, creating your own reality.
How great can today be for you...it opens up so much devine opportunities...the message is simple...new beginnings and opportunities occurring in your life will bring you into full alignment with your devine life and purpose and soul mission. Follow you intuition, get back on track and keep up the great work you have been doing and you will surely continue to manifest your good.
Use today as an opportunity to continue to seek out an occupation, past-time or hobby that taps into your natural talents and interests. You may even look to begin a course or line of study that will enhance your knowledge and benefit your life. Put what you learn into practice and you will serve to help and assist others as well as advance yourself along your personal path.
I reposted this very rare photo of myself and bro aka Baba also known as @ooniadimulaife because it relates to my message...sometimes I can be so oblivious to many things and never truly understanding why I do many things but my intuition always leads me to a devine purpose beyond my understanding and I guess the same indescribable element runs in the blood.
So my people, go out there and be great...not just today, everyday!
Ps. Before you say we look alike...I'm finer sha! #scripture#greatness#divinity#purpose#hope#newbeginning#newstart#hope#grace
I couldn't let today go (however busy I got - today was crazy!!!) without saying a massive happy birthday to the olori ebi of our Princess Eyinade-Alake Adelekan's grandchildren aka my big boy, Prince Ezekiel Adedoyin omo Princess Dayo Omo Alake @dayomonde . I love you wholeheartedly, you change my name from Aunty to Big Mummy and I am ever so proud of you in more ways than you can ever imagine. I don't care if anyone says "but you never actually gave birth to him"...no matter what they say... you are MY son!!! And when and if God decides that I will have a boy or two, I can be rest assured you will definitely take them as your little brother(s) as so you should.
Eva and Ella loves you immensely and I know you that (they won;t stop bugging me for us to to visit asap). I just can't describe how you make me feel ( my heart is filled with so much joy) seeing how grown and caring you've become. You are truly one to be proud of. Ezekiel Adedoyin, Happy 12th birthday - Big Mummy loves. #birthday#birthdayboy#birthdayfun#bday#born#birthdaymonth#birthdayparty#happybirthday#birthdays#birthdaygift#years#young#candles#birthdaycelebration
When your '6' can be this fine with #nofilter and blurry lenses, you know her genes are nothing less than great! My six is my immediate younger sister who I cherish for her inner beauty, kindness and sincerity. @dayomonde aka D'lomo is the most outspoken and honest person you'll ever meet...as in she hates liars and would go to the end of the world to make you happy but mehn if you cross her, you might as well beat yourself before she gets hold of you because she will finish your life for you...seriously! As slim as she is, she has that mighty igor power that comes out of nowhere...she can be my bodyguard anytime!!! Listen, my sister's brain mixed with her street smart attitude has made her a very formidable lady that any man with his right wits would cherish forever. Dee, I am so happy you're back on your road to happiness...you've achieved so much over the years and you did it by yourself (with little support from us)...I am so proud of you in so many ways...you inspire me to be a good person. Love you forever and noooo it's not her birthday...I just love my beautiful, strong, brave and intelligent lil sister Arogbo. #lovemysister#sibling#sisters#photooftheday#family#beautiful#sis#best#love#sister#lovemysis#proudsister#myfamily#sisterhood#sisterlove#sistertime#girls#happy#sweet#loveher#mysister#sisterforever